What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
Found half of a five day old piece of pizza behind my dresser. Apparently it was drunkenly set there and got knocked down. It was such a happy reminder of last weekend.
I found a cheeseburger next to my tub once. It's there to shame you, but it always just makes me feel more awesome.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize
