My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
Randomize
