So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
