i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
On today's episode of "What the Shit Did I Do Last Night," drunk me deleted ALL of the text messages I've ever had. Awesome.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
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