we're chasing vodka with high fives
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
Randomize
