we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
Randomize
