I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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