69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
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