Your mouth is God's brothel.
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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