So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
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