I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
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