I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
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