smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
Randomize
