so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
Randomize
