his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
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