Pregnant stripper...not hot.
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
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