How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Randomize
