If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
Woke up backwards on a recliner
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize
