I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
Randomize
