I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
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