I heard we made out
He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
Randomize
