pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
Randomize
