I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
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