It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
please don't ironically join a cult
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize
