tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
Randomize
