yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
Randomize
