I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
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