I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
