i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
