What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
