physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
Randomize
