Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
Randomize
