if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
Randomize
