No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
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