Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
Randomize
