Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
Randomize
