Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
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