and she was petting her beer can
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
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