oh god the rape fog is back!
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
Randomize
