Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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