I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
