My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
The beers last night were like the tears from god
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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