Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
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