You were right. It hurts to walk today.
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
Randomize
