you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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