I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
Randomize
