My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
Randomize
