We won't sleep together?
I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
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