ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
Randomize
