take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
Randomize
