I'm in a cab, in a strange city, and my driver looks like he's going to eat me. My facebook password is **** I want you to have the one thing I hold dearest to my heart.
my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
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