I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
Randomize
