so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
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