I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
We need a shit load of segways right now
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
Randomize
