so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
it was like eating out sand paper
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
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