Well I left you a voicemail but you probably won't be able to hear it because my mic is fucked up. I think you need to come down here and take it in for me.
I hate this phone so bad I'm going to lose all of my friends because of it
Yeah...you probably will...
well, you're marked off my christmas card list for next year.
my mouth tastes like poor choices
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
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