The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
farters have to be the big spoon...
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Randomize
