i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Randomize
