I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
