Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
Randomize
