If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
I licked your asshole in confidence.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
Randomize
