i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
Randomize
