I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
Randomize
