Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Randomize
