So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
My vagina just clenched in fear
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
Randomize
