hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Randomize
