dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
you didnt know i had herpes?
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
he fucked my hip out of place.
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Randomize
